why are apple users incapable of just saying “phone” “laptop” etc why is it always “my iphone my ipad my macbook” like is it a brand flexing thing or do they just not know the words? you dont hear me saying shit like “damn i misplaced my samsung again” “my acer sounds like a jet engine rn” who talks like that
Every Christmas my uncle gives us all a calendar he’s had printed with the best photos he’s taken every month of the previous year, and he puts all the usual holidays in it, but because he’s a huge nerd (affectionate) there’s also stuff like this:
Last year it was the birthdays of long-dead relatives he’d been researching, and I recall previous years having notable events in mountain climbing or arctic exploring history.
I love the calendars and look forward to them every year.
Want to see the July page? Of course you do!
Transcription: “The genus name for water lilies, Nymphaea, was inspired by the nymphs of Greek and Latin mythology. All water lilies are toxic in almost all their parts, yet many cultures around the world have devised ways to process them for use as food or medicines.
Water lilies contain numerous active organic compounds including one or more of the class of terpinoid thioalkaloids called nuphar alkaloids, such as (+)-6-hydroxythiobinupharidine (shown), a potent inducer of cell death (apoptosis) in mammalian cells. It has eleven chirality centres. The class is notable by the unusual presence of a sulfur atom.”
Mario creepypasta fundamentally doesn’t work because you know what Mario would actually do if we saw some dimension-warping hundred-handed cosmic horror? He wouldn’t lose his mind; he’d take one look at that Shin Megami Tensei looking fucker, pull out his dorky little mushroom-shaped cell phone, hit the fourth number down on his contact list, and go “hey, Kirby, I think-a one-a your boys got lost”.
“Or he’d just fight it himself” no, he would not, for two reasons:
This represents a fundamental misunderstanding of Mario’s central plot structure. Mario always gets his ass beat in his initial encounter with an outside context problem, then spends the bulk of the game going around gathering allies and kicking the legs out from under the outside context problem’s support structure.
This sort of thing clearly falls into another protagonist’s idiom, and Mario is a union man – he’s not going to scab on Kirby. Perish the thought!
Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.
I know there is a lot of discourse ™ around this right now but listen to me
sometimes you do just have to lie to children.
If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”
If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.
So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”
Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.
See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.
you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.
You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter
Being on this website is fun because you can absolutely tell when a blorbo clicks in someone’s brain. You’re scrolling, and suddenly out of nowhere there’s like 12 posts about the same character back to back reposted by the same person, and you just know “oh. They’re a permanent part of their psyche now.” and honestly it’s a vibe go off king
Guys do u know that one meme where there’s a girl and like a bodyguard (???) ordering drinks and the waiter give them the wrong drinks so they switch them on the last panel,???????? BECAUSE I C1NT FING IT^
ALT
